72 Miles From The Sea

Tuesday, 8 August 2023

My only New Year's resolution

Is to be more optimistic next year

By keeping my cup half-full

With either vodka, whiskey or beer

New Year's resolutions are something

That go over the head of my brother

He just doesn’t seem to grasp their import

So they go in one year and out the other

It’s Christmas Day in the workhouse

Just another grey day to endure

Jamie Oliver is cooking the dinner

So, no Turkey Twizzlers in store

At the North Pole, For those

Not begun Schooling yet,

Must firstly be enrolled

And then taught the Elphabet

Never ever catch a snowflake

In your mouth

Until you’re sure all the birds

Have flown south

James Dean lived life to the full

Seldom taking the time to pause

But he didn’t believe in Santa

So he was a rebel without a Claus

The difference between Santa Claus

And a serial philanderer, as it goes

Is in essence a total lack of self-control

Because Santa stopped at three ho’s