72 Miles From The Sea

Wednesday, 24 May 2023

I tried donating blood today

But the problem on this visit

Were too many stupid questions

For example, why is it in a bucket?

The first time I took my girlfriend home

So that my mum could meet her

She wore a big green shirt and huge gloves

And my mum said she was a keeper

If getting sexual gratification

From the Beano is your belief

Then that would be known

To most people as Comic relief

I tried my hand at fortune telling

Using an old snow globe

And I became very good at predicting

Really cold winters

I was Masturbating up on the roof

But unfortunately, I was seen

My boss gave me a second chance

So effectively wiped the slate clean

My father has suffered

A long series of seizures recently

So far, he’s lost his cars, house,

Yacht and a Villa on Capri

My mate Tom stuck

A vacuum cleaner nozzle up his bum

Henry has never recovered

And sadly, always looks glum