ARE YOU WEARING GOLDEN TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing Golden tinsel?

Tied amidst your lustrous curls

It makes you look so beautiful

And more like an angel than a girl

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 3

Is Santa Claus really a woman?

Let’s silence those objections

How would he navigate the globe?

And all its many intersections

When a man is totally incapable

Of ever asking for directions 

BAD SANTA # 3

 

Bad Santa is a bit of a perve

So naughty girl when he comes into view

It won’t be candy cane in his pocket

He’ll be really pleased to see you!

THE LAST REINDEER

 

A reindeer walked into a pub,

And ordered a pint of beer.

The barman pulled a pint

And gave it to the reindeer,

 

The reindeer took the drink

And handed over a ten

He checked his change

Then he checked it again

 

The barman then said

"You’re the first reindeer

I think I’m right in saying

That we've had in here."

 

He delivered to the barman

A look, barely disguised

“To be honest at these prices

I'm really not surprised”

I AM BLESSED WITH FRIENDS AT CHRISTMAS

 

I am blessed with Friends

Some of them are fruity

Some are soaked in alcohol

Some of them are nutty

Some are sweet

Some add spice

Some add zest

Some smell nice

But when mixed together

And yuletide is upon us

They become without doubt

The fruit cake of Christmas

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 8

 

Is Santa Claus really a woman?

Well, there’s no evidence yet

But ask yourself if a man

Would choose to wear red velvet

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN DIVORCED HIS WIFE

 

Frosty the snowman divorced his wife

As the marriage was a mistake

He decided to divorce his wife

After he found out she was a flake