Mithras was a pagan faith
Older than we
can remember
And the
festival was held
Towards the
end of December
Thank God
it’s been replaced
By the
festival of Christmas
Otherwise,
we’d have to wish
Everyone a
merry Mithras
Mithras was a pagan faith
Older than we
can remember
And the
festival was held
Towards the
end of December
Thank God
it’s been replaced
By the
festival of Christmas
Otherwise,
we’d have to wish
Everyone a
merry Mithras
We could have raised a glass
With all
the usual crowd
We could
have gone to mums
And spent Christmas
in Stroud
We could
have jetted off
For sand
and sea and sun
We could’ve
gone to my bro’s
Were they
have “lots of fun”
We could
have stayed at home
And just
had “a quiet one”
Laughing at
the annual
Morecambe and
Wise rerun
But we
decided to avoid this year
The usual
helter skelter
And help
cook Christmas dinner
At the homeless
shelter
May this Christmas season
Be overflowing
with Christmas spirit
Enough to
banish all the Grinch’s
And the
Ebenezer Scrooges
And make it a very merry Christmas
I built the perfect snowman
Well, a snow-woman
actually
She was a
little disproportionate
But she was
perfect to me
She was a
little cold
But we
could’ve been happy
I wrapped
her in a blanked
And took her
to my bed
In the
morning I was hoping,
Though
nothing was said
That we
would make love
But I woke
alone instead
And to make
matters worst
One of us
had wet the bed
I mustn’t leave my shopping,
My wife has
made it clear to me,
Until late on
Christmas Eve
For my Christmas
won’t be merry
If all she
gets is cheap perfume
And more
slutty lingerie
There was a little girl
Who had a
little curl
Unlike all
her mates
Who had
theirs waxed
Are you wearing stripy stockings?
It must be
that time of the year again
I know you
think they’re cute, but
Your legs
look like candy canes