ARE YOU WEARING A TARTAN SKIRT?

 

Are you wearing a Tartan skirt?

And what’s above your socks?

If I were able to take a look

I could maybe see the Trossachs

CHRISTMAS DAY JUST AFTER LUNCH

 

Christmas day just after Lunch

My family, being a fun-loving bunch

Engage enthusiastically one and all

In parlour games to enthral

At first the alcohol fuelled the fun

And a good time was had by everyone

However, as the day wore on

With all self-control long gone

The games degenerate into farce

As an opponent is knocked on his arse

And the afternoon ends in tears

As it has done across the years

And dad makes his annual decree

“Games are forthwith banned” said he

MY BROTHER WAS FIVE YEARS MY SENIOR

 

My brother was five years my senior

So, he always led me astray

He took me on a hunt every December

Leading up to Christmas day

To find the presents that mum and dad

Had cunningly stashed away

EVERY YEAR WITHOUT FAIL - SANTA

 

Every year without fail

On Christmas Eve

It would appear

And we children

Would squeal out

A deafening cheer

 

When the source

Of our excitement

Was carefully set down

And we would sit

In our clean pajama’s

And dressing gown

 

And stare at the object

Open mouthed

In gleeful expectation

Of what was beneath

The cotton wool and

Red crepe paper creation

 

We would have to wait

The longest time

In anticipation

But it was worth it

Too see inside the belly

Of Santa’s incarnation

 

And when we thought

We could wait no longer

We all jumped to our feet

As Dad slowly removed

The pink faced head

And revealed the treats

And as Dad gave Santa

A little shake, out spilled

The Christmas sweets

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 306

 

Rub a dub dub

Three men in a tub

I bet no one predicted that

When they met in the pub

ARE YOU WEARING FAIRY DUST?

 

Are you wearing fairy dust?

If you’re a fairy, it really is a must

But the one thing I cannot tell

Are you the one called Tinkerbelle?

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN REALLY LOST HIS TEMPER

 

Frosty the snowman really lost his temper

And his behaviour was an absolute disgrace

He kept going on about an aggressive carrot

And he kept saying "just get out of my face"