72 Miles From The Sea

Wednesday, 23 November 2022

Mince pies full

Of spice and season

I don’t eat them

Heartburn’s the Reason

At the North Pole

If an education is sought

You won’t get any training

Everyone is Elf taught

Breakfast time comes

Just after day breaks

When Frosty the snowman

Eats his Snowflakes

If the stork was to visit

Santa and Mrs. Claus

The child would naturally be called

The subordinate Claus

When my Dad was just a boy

He never saw a lemon or Lime

And oranges only ever appeared

In his house at Christmas time

It was Christmas Eve in Dad’s house,

And not a hint of the season in sight

No stockings hang by the fire side

He was such a miserable old shite

Little girl, little girl where have you been?

Have you been visiting London Zoo

Or gathering roses to give to the Queen.

Oh you went to get another Tattoo