IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE IN DAD’S HOUSE

 

It was Christmas Eve in Dad’s house,

And not a hint of the season in sight

No stockings hang by the fire side

He was such a miserable old shite

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 302

 

Little girl, little girl where have you been?

Have you been visiting London Zoo

Or gathering roses to give to the Queen.

Oh you went to get another Tattoo

GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER

 

Grandma got run over by a reindeer

When into the roadway she strayed

It was an accident waiting to happen

Because Santa Claus was totally slayed

A MAN BOUGHT A CHRISTMAS TREE

 

A man bought a Christmas tree

He got it off the shelf

But he was rushed to A & E

After putting it up himself

A NOVELTY CHRISTMAS CAPER

 

It was a novelty Christmas caper

I was given some Sudoku toilet paper

Not a gift I would choose

You can only use number 1s and 2s

SANTA’S NEW TEAM

 

All of Santa’s new electric Reindeer

Were all lined up by the charger

Waiting patiently in turn to use it

As Santa and Rudolf looked on

Santa asked “Shall I tell the others

Or would you rather do it?”

NEW PUPILS

 

At the North Pole, For those

Not begun Schooling yet,

Must firstly be enrolled

And then taught the Elphabet