LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 7

 

I hate it when buying sunglasses

When I find a pair, I want to try

And that stupid little plastic thing

Dangles right in front of my eye

MY BOYFRIEND IS JUST LIKE SANTA CLAUS

 

My boyfriend is just like Santa Claus

Though he doesn’t fulfil a single wish

And he doesn’t give me presents

But he’s like Santa because he’s a myth

WHERE THE LONELY ELVES GO

 

The “house of fun” in Santa’s village

Is where lonely elves go to take pause

And the owner proudly boasts that

He has more ho’s than Santa Claus

SANTA’S YOUNGEST DAUGHTER MARY

 

Santa’s youngest daughter Mary

Was promiscuous and out of control

So, he sent her to a girl’s boarding school

To keep her off the North Pole

THE DAUGHTER OF ONE OF SANTA’S ELVES

The daughter of one of Santa’s Elves

Was out of control and a bit of a prancer

So, he sent her to college in Lapland

To stop her from being a pole dancer

But she soon dropped out of college

And now she’s a popular lap dancer 

THERE IS A POPULAR MYTH ABOUT RUDOLPH

 

There is a popular myth about Rudolph

And his quite legendary shiny nose

But believe me if you ever saw him

You would know that’s not what glows

HE CAME HOME ON CHRISTMAS EVE

He came home on Christmas Eve

On his long-awaited Christmas leave

The soldier returned from the war

To find his beloved waiting at the door

It took seconds for passions to ignite

Which made it a Not-so-Silent Night