TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 1

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house,

Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse

As earlier that night with the aid of cheese and a trap

I bad Mr. Mouse Merry Christmas as the spring went snap

YOU CAN KEEP THE SLEIGH # 1

 

You can keep the sleigh

And Rudolph and Prancer

There’s nothing Santa likes

More than a Lap Dancer

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 295

 

Solomon Grundie,

Born on Monday,

But nothing else

In his life rhymed

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS HOSIERY?

 

Are you wearing Christmas hosiery?

Phwor are you going to let me see

Oh, how they cling to the shape of you

I would like to cling to them too

Oh yes, I like them very much

Perhaps I might have a touch

Oh, you are a proper tease

Would you let me if I said please?

I LOVE MINCE PIES AT CHRISTMAS

 

I love mince pies at Christmas

But they don’t return the favour

I wish you could get Gaviscon

In brandy butter flavour

DURING THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY

 

During the Christmas holiday

From coast to coast

What do you call a stuffed animal?

We call it a turkey roast

I AM A MAN OF SIMPLE TASTES

 

I am a man of simple tastes

But obviously there’s a twist

So, all I want for Christmas

Is Santa’s naughty girl list