BENDY WENDY

 

Wendy was bendy

And a delight to behold

She was pliant and supple

And easy to fold

 

Wendy was bendy

Her pliancy had no end

And in the bedroom

She was my flexible friend

AN ALARMING STATISTIC

 

Gang rape is nasty

So is this statistic 

9 out of 10

People enjoy it

HOW DO YOU MAKE A FRUIT CORDIAL?

 

How do you make a fruit cordial?

Well, it shouldn’t be an ordeal

So, I think the best way to begin

Is just to be nice to him

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 57

The Grand old Duke of York he had ten thousand men

He marched them up to the top of the hill

And he marched them down again.

This upset the lads, who thought the Duke mad

So, in order to stop him, they had to top him

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 5

 

I don’t have a favourite,

I love each and every one

Whether happy or sad

Cheerful or glum

 

I love Prayer Claire

And Lazy Daisy

Gaudy Maudie

And Crazy Maisy

 

I love Blue Sue

And Classy Darcy

Timid Ingrid

And Brassy Marcie

 

I love Shy Di

And Sullen Ellen

Beige Paige

And Barren Karen

 

I love Chipper Pippa

And Hairy Mary

All of them from homely

To a little bit scary

ABRASIVE BEHAVIOUR

 

I have been charged with murdering a man

With sandpaper, the really course grit

But I’m pleading it down to manslaughter

Because I only meant to rough him up a bit

EMBRACE WITH CAUTION

 

Embracing is good, I like to hug, and I like to cuddle

But you should be very careful I would say

As there’s a very fine line between a cuddle

And holding them down so they can't get away