MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION THIS YEAR

My New Year's resolution this year

Is hopefully an antidote to future resolutions

And to rid myself of the annual angst

I have come up with a simple solution

Which is to stop hanging out with people

Who ask me for my New Year's resolutions

TRANSYLVANIA NEW YEAR

 

On New Year's Eve

At the appropriate time

The vampires sing

Auld Fang Syne

OLD YEARS NIGHT

 

My wife is an optimist

Which is why, she stays up

On New Year’s Eve

To see in the new one

 

I am by nature a pessimist

Which means, that I stay up

On New Year’s Eve

To make sure the old one has gone

NEW RESOLVE

 

My New Year resolution

Was to find a solution

To my misshapen figure

And lack of vim and vigour

Though feeling rather grim

I signed up for the gym

First came the orientation

And equipment demonstration

I was told of suitable clothes

Something loose that flows

I said “the reason or the point

Of me being in this joint

And why I signed up tonight

Is all my clothes are tight”

IF YOU WERE BORN IN LATE SEPTEMBER

 

If you were born in late September,

The bells should definitely start to clang

As it’s pretty safe to assume that your folks

Started out the New Year with a Bang

RATHER THAN MAKE A POINTLESS RESOLUTIONS

Rather than make a pointless resolution

I will make a wish for those I hold dear

May you always have all that you need

And want all you have, Happy New Year! 

NEW YEAR’S EVE FANCY DRESS

 

My friend asked me

What I was going to be

For New Year’s Eve

I said “Drunk will do me”