72 Miles From The Sea

Thursday, 21 October 2021

My future wife was dressed like a tart

When we first met on Elm Street

And she said very provocatively

“I'll be your trick if you'll be my treat”

Halloween is one of the very few

Acceptable times to wear body glitter

When you have a reasonable expectation

Of not being mistaken for a stripper

Halloween is all about Candy

Which can be very droll

Unless she has daddy issues

And swings from a pole

Why couldn't the witch have children?

It wasn’t just because she was a meanie

The answer is far more fundamental

Because her husband had a hallow weenie

For my friends and I, Halloween is a contest

And I go all out to beat them all

This year I dressed my dog up as a cat

But now he won’t come when I call

I wonder if Halloween is the only

Day of the year that the goths

Dress colourfully like butterflies

Instead of the normal drab moths

Are you wearing Halloween earrings?

They rather fill me with dread?

Please answer me one question

Are they real shrunken heads?