TOMMY AND ERIC

 

Tommy Cooper

And Eric Morecambe

Were funny men

Not vulgar

Or foul mouthed

Not forced or contrived

Just naturally funny men

Who made you laugh

Just by walking on to the stage

In fact, thinking about them

Has just made me smile

NOT EVEN GOD

 

Their arrogant confidence

Was unshrinkable

In fact, they considered it

To be unthinkable

For the RMS Titanic

Not to be unsinkable

YOU’LL NEVER GUESS I BET

 

You’ll never guess I bet

What it is that you get

If you cross the Atlantic

With the RMS Titanic?

Do you give in? Can I say?

Ok then “About halfway”

GIFTED AMATEURS

 

If someone says they’re an Amateur

There’s really no need to panic

Because Amateurs built the Ark 

While Professionals built the Titanic

ON THE TITANIC

 

The most popular drink on the Titanic

Was not served with a lemon slice

Nor with an olive or a soda splash

It was simply served with lots of ice

RMS TITANIC

 

The finest ship of the White Star Line,

Titanic majestically sailed the brine

A floating palace of opulence

A thing of beauty and elegance

 

But beauty is but a fragile veneer

And conceals a truth more austere

Into the depths Europe’s poor, are thrust

Travelling in steerage like human ballast

 

The iceberg cut her stem to stern

But at first no one showed concern

Except the poor below the waterline

Where it quickly filled with Icy brine

 

“Only God himself could sink her”

It was claimed by an unknown author

The Titanic promoted by J. Bruce Ismay

Quickly sank to his utter dismay

CREATURES OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY – LADON

 

There was a dreadful union between the giant immortal Typhon

And the black fearful eyed Echidne, Half serpent, half woman

The terrifying result of this unnatural union was a huge Drakon

A great multi headed creature with hot fiery breath called Ladon

It was appointed to guard the golden apples of the Hesperides

But with just a single flaming arrow it was slain by Heracles