Sunday, 14 February 2021

MAGIC SLIDE

 

Three thirsty men were trekking through the hot desert

And for the presence of a water hole, they were alert 

After many days search, they came across a magician

Their first thought was that it was only an apparition

“We need water” to the magician the men all cried

He just held up a hand as he stood atop a long slide

''You may each go down the slide” said the magician

“Asking for a drink as you go is your only mission”

 “You will arrive at the bottom before you can blink

And land with a splash in a huge glass of that drink”

The first man went down the slide and shouted ''Beerrr!''

And with a splash! He landed in a huge glass of beer

The second man went down the slide shouting ''lager!''

And with a splash! He landed in a huge glass of lager

Having watched the first two enjoy their drinks with glee

The third man went down the slide shouting ''wheeeeeeeee!'''

LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE, #1

Newton’s law states that

To every human action

The universe has an equal

And opposite reaction

Saturday, 13 February 2021

I STRUGGLE WITH CERTAIN ACTORS

 

I struggle with certain actors

When giving cinematic recitals

Like De Niro and Pacino

They should come with subtitles

ROSES ARE RED # 2

 

Roses are red

Apples are green

You are a cutie

And I’m really keen

BE MY VALENTINE # 3

 

On Valentine’s Day

The bat said to his girlfriend

“You're fun to hang around with”

And the paper clip said to the magnet?

“I find you very attractive”

VALENTINES # 4

 


Lover you still do it for me,
To me you’re lamb and not mutton
Your qualities are plain to see
And you still push my button

BE MY VALENTINE # 6

 

On Valentine’s Day

The valentine card said to the stamp

Stick with me and we'll go places!

While the farmer gave his wife

Hogs and kisses!

And the caveman gave his wife

Ughs and kisses!

And the Persian gave his wife

Rugs and kisses!