IF I COULD WISH

If I could wish
What a wish it would be
I would wish a wish
If it were granted to me

If I could wish
I would wish for what I had
I would wish that wish
Because without you I’d be sad

If I could wish
I would wish for you
I would wish a wish
That, that wish would come true

If I could wish
And my wish came true
I would have wished a wish
To spend my life with you

THE COSTUMED ARMY

It’s here again
That day we all dread
When once more
We fear the rise of the dead

But fear not
Our salvation is at hand
We shall be saved
By an unlikely Band

So be assured
When the time is near
Ghosts and ghouls
Will all quake in fear

When night falls
All the undead will cower
Trembling in awe
Come the witching hour

As armed with sacks
Our great costumed army
Will roam the streets
To drive the evil spirits barmy

So to protect yourselves
Keep a proper payment handy
When the costumed army
Come knocking for some candy

JACK O’LANTERN

Jack O’Lantern’s light
Gazing out into the night
In the window there
Staring out a scary stare
With your unsympathetic grin
And glowing orange skin
Are you there to keep the spirits out?
With your jagged leering mouth
Or is your gnarled and toothless grin
There to invite the evil in?

ALL HALLOWS EVE

I hide behind the sofa quivering in fear
Now the witching hour is near
The curtains are drawn tight
And I’ve turned off the lights
The TV volume is way down low
I sit and cower it its feeble glow
Then comes the knock upon the door
And I curl up quivering on the floor
My heart is pounding my breath is shallow
My mouth is dry it’s hard to swallow
On all hallows eve I live in mortal dread
But not of monsters or the un-dead
The fear that turns my heart to stone
Is Trick or Treaters knowing I’m home

OH NO, NOT HALLOWEEN AGAIN

It’s that time of year again, Halloween
Oh how I hate it and its practitioners
All year round we tell our children
“Don’t accept sweets from strangers”
We instill in them from an early age
“Don’t ever approach or talk to strangers”
Then at Halloween we send them out
To ask for sweets at the doors of strangers

When children dressed as monsters
Terrorize the neighbourhood
Begging from door to door
Demanding sweets and treats
For not vandalizing your property
The older children or should I say yobs
Wear masks and disguise them selves
Clearly training for a life of crime
A yob in a funny outfit is still a yob

It’s that time of year again
The night of night to ignore the doorbell
Its not twee or cute it’s just annoying
I try to be polite when I shoo them from my door
But I know I will get up next morning
With fake blood smeared on the front door
Eggs smashed on my windscreen
And rubbish strewn across my garden
God I hate Halloween and its practitioners

I’M SORRY

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
Its not you
Oh how trite is that
And I do love you
It’s just that you’re not the one
There’s something missing
There’s no electricity
I do love you
But you’re not the one

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
It really is me
And other assorted clichés
I wish you were the one
I hope you can forgive me
For the years you’ve wasted
For the love you invested in me
I wish you were the one
Thank you for loving me

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
I'll miss you and I do mean that
But I’m looking for my soul mate
And I have to look
I wish you were my great love
But we are just comfortable
Like a favorite pair of shoes
I have to look
Though I may never find her

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
I must be cruel to be kind
And other empty Platitudes
You deserve better than me
Your perfect one is out there
We all have a soul mate
I’m sorry it’s not me
You deserve better than me
That’s why I’m leaving

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
Please don’t cry
Just wish me luck
Because she’s out there
There should be great love
There should be sparks
Tingling and breathlessness
She is out thereI will find the other half of me

TRICK OR TREAT

When the little boys and girls
Knock at my door for candy
I must give them what they want
“Or else” is their modus operandi
So with a false smile I comply
But under my breath I pray
That by the time Christmas comes
They’ll all have tooth decay