TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 17
Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a louse
But there is a reason and here’s the tell
It’s just been fumigated and stank like hell
EBENEZER SCROOGE WENT TO COURT
Ebenezer Scrooge went to court,
Accused of shagging a cat
The judge dismissed the case in a jiffy
And said in all his years as a judge,
That he'd never known Scrooge
To put anything into a kitty
CHRISTMAS ISN’T JUST ABOUT PRESENTS
Christmas isn’t just about presents
I have a far deeper meaning in mind
Christmas marks the birth
Of the saviour of all mankind
CELEBRATING CRIMBO
Some drunken bimbo
With legs akimbo
Showing off her bits
From ankle to pits
Lay in the gutter
And was heard to utter
To a fellow bimbo
Hacky crambo
ARE YOU WEARING ELF EARS?
Are you wearing elf ears?
It’s a very sweet look on you
So take me to your workshop
And do what little elves do
THE BEST FORM OF EXERCISE
The best form of exercise
Is sex! Well that’s what they say
But five minutes at Christmas
Won’t take my beer gut away
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO YOU BOTH
Happy Christmas to you both
See, we did remember
Because you are so dear
Just like every year
We will never forget
We just wish and wish
You were still here
Just like every year
We will remember
And take a pause
Amidst the cheer
Just like every year
So we wish you
A happy Christmas
And wipe away a tear
Just like every year
Mary Evelyn Curtis 20/1/1921 – 29/3/1993
Harold Curtis 19/6/1922 – 8/5/1978
ORANGES ARE NOT THE ONLY FRUIT
When my Dad was just a boy
He never saw a lemon or Lime
And oranges only ever appeared
In his house at Christmas time
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 11
Twas the night before Christmas
And all around the Crescent
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a peasant
ARE YOU WEARING A PAPER HAT?
Are you wearing a paper hat?
It’s Christmas day and that’s that
We’ve pulled our Christmas crackers
So everyone must wears a paper hat
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