ON THE FUNNY SIDE

THE FALSETTO GENERATIONS

I was one of the baby boomers
And we were raised differently
The subsequent generations
Have developed much more selfishly
They are the falsetto generations
Because they always go me me me

SWEAR WORD SCRABBLE

Great fun games for the English summer
They don’t have to be expensive
Play new swear word Scrabble
It’s a simple game not for the pensive
All words must be in common usage
And should be genuinely offensive

NO FRILLS, MORE BILLS

No frills airlines will get your money
My fair means or by foul
This may mean them charging you
If you need a paper towel
Or if decompression occurs
And the oxygen mask is hanging there
You will have to put a pound coin in
Before it dispenses any air



MORNINGS AREN’T THE SAME ANYMORE

I miss Wake Up to Wogan
I miss the old camuggian
Wogan was the class, but alas
He’s been replaced by the brash

How did Chris Evans get the job?
That I can only surmise
But it’s like the Krankies
Replacing Morecambe and Wise

UNFORGETTABLE

He was such a forgetful man
He was like the absent minded professor
Unfortunately he was so forgetful
That he forgot to become a professor

SEXING FLIES

Joan found her husband George
Indulging in a strange caper
Stalking about the kitchen
With a rolled up newspaper

"What on earth are you doing?"
She asked with annoyance.
"I’m doing battle with flies"
Was his proud response

"Have you killed any yet?"
She asked, walking to the door
"Three male and two female
Is the current score”

"How can you sex a fly?"
Asked a now interested Joan
"I killed three on a beer can;
The other two were on the phone"