We have an unwanted mouse in our house
But am I permitted to kill it? No is the answer
My son suggested I leave the back door open
So it could let it self out when it was ready
My wife wants me to buy a humane trap
So I can catch it, release it, and catch it again next week
How confused we are of what animals are
We have this romantic notion of the animal kingdom
That they are just like humans but in animal form
We have endowed the beasts with human qualities
Beatrix Potter’s tales are a classic example of this
Stories spoon fed to young eager minds for decades
Mice do not live in houses, watch TV or play scrabble
It’s just a mouse, its vermin, and it’s eating my food
They have been humanised in a century of cartoons
In that undignified way we have Disney-fied them
Well we need to un-Disneyfy the creatures double quick
So I have baited my trap and I will wait for the snap
Because Mice don’t live in houses especially not in mine
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