MISSED OPERTUNITIES AND CONQUESTS

It is said that a woman
Never forgets the men she could have had
While a man
Never forgets the women that he couldn't
I’m not sure that’s true
Well not in my case anyway
For me I never forget the girls I could have had
I’m not sure either if too much soul searching is good for a person
Looking back always tends to be done through rose tinted spectacles
So it’s probably best not to dwell too much
On missed opportunities
If I knew then what I know now
I would have asked out Brenda
Braw Brenda from the glens
With the roundest most perfect bottom
I have ever seen
If I knew then what I know now
I would have asked out Stephanie
Stunning little Steffie
Her small buttocks incased in her jodhpurs
The most beautiful creature I ever held in my arms
She would hug me and bury her head in my chest
The smell of her hair was heaven
If I knew then what I know now
I would have asked out Lisa
Lisa with the perfect combination
Of come to bed eyes and a gaping blouse
If I knew then what I know now
I would have asked out Joanne
Jo the brunette from marketing
With the perfect tan
And the beautiful white toothed smile
All of these wonderful girls
Could have been mine
But at the time I couldn’t read the signs
My eyesight now has began to fail
Along with my appeal
But no regrets
Because decisions made
Rightly or wrongly
Made me who I am today
And anyway it wasn’t all bad
I haven’t led a celibate life
There were girls in my life
Little Clair at the disco kissing in the dark
When we left we made love in the park
Nicky all tits and dimples from the golf club
Reassuringly curvaceous in all the right places
We made love on the eighteenth green
Fiona more mature than her years
Jacky the older woman twenty years my senior
Seducing me in a Dublin hotel
Jail bait Gaynor the horny little cow
Jo with the deep voice but no Adams apple
Big mo with the well filled blouse
Joan the Irish fun bundle
Joanne a Willowy woman
Willing and welcoming
With the 18 inch waist
And the 40 inch bust
Dawn from Glasgow who I couldn’t understand
The only word I could make out was yes
Denise my best friend’s stepsister
Yvonne cute and naive
Doreen who people unkindly called plain
Plain and freckled with the chestnut hair
And the eyes that smiled
Debbie well everyone’s had a Debbie
Pat in the stockroom
Sue the slapper just about everywhere
Ellie at the Christmas party
And the three sisters who must remain nameless
So I haven’t had an empty life