SUBTLE DIFFERENCE
There is a subtle difference
Between “Put” and “Putt”
In meaning as well as spelling
I will attempt to elucidate
Their subtle difference
Clearly in the telling
“Put” means to place something
Where you ultimately want it
“Putt” is an unrealistic attempt
To do the same with the ball you hit
NO FRILLS
Ryanair have had to execute
Disembarkation via escape chutes
There was no emergency however
It’s just Mr O’Leary being clever
Disembarking on the runway
Is the latest “no frills” way
GOOD JOB SON
My son got a job today
At a bowling establishment
“Ten pin” I asked him
“Oh no” he said “it’s permanent”
A TIMELY REFLECTION
I am feeling my age
Now I’m of the silver haired class
But on the bright side
I’m still on the right side of the grass
A MEASURED REFLECTION
When I was young
I was broad minded
And narrow hipped
Now I’m middle aged
My proportions
Appear to have flipped
TAKAWAY BLUES
Last weekend my dad tried
A new Indian takeaway
He said it was very good
But he suffered the next day
He was violently sick
And was rushed into hospital
But he’s on the mend
And has no ill effects at all
The bhajis contained tulip bulbs
Obviously not the right thing
The hospital has said
He won't be out until the spring.
A DEEP DESIRE
After many long years
Of happy marriage
I still look at my wife with hunger
I hunger to see her
In something long and flowing
Like the River Humber
AGE OLD LIES # 1
Of all the age old lies
Which one do we hear most?
Well when owed money its
“The cheque is in the post”
When you hear that said
You know there is no hope
Because the simple truth is
It never made it to the envelope
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