It was in the belfry
On Christmas
Eve
High in the
tower
I tried to
retrieve
A poor
little kitten
Who was
stuck
When suddenly
The bell
was struck
I lost my
footing
And began
to fall
I thought
this is
The end of
it all
So, I had
onto grab
Or surely
die
My Ding
dong
Bunting and frolic
Candles and
smells
Garlands
and gaiety
Baubles and
bells
The holly
and the ivy
Sprigs of
mistletoe
Cookies and
eggnog
Have a
happy Crimbo
With expectant faces full of smiles
The children
sit around the tree
Waiting to
get amongst the gifts
And
wondering “What’s Santa got for me”
Eagerly the
children sit by the tree
Their expectant
smiling faces all aglow
Waiting to
get amongst the gifts
On the
moment when Nan says “go”
Everyone is so happy
Damn them
all to hell
But I drank
too much last night
And today I
feel unwell
The
cheerful souls
Can’t abide
to see a frown
And want me
to turn
My frown
upside down
At first, I
decided
That I would
merely scoff
But it didn’t
work
So, I told
them to piss off
Three each day
Seven days
a week
Ruddy Apple
Ruddy Cheek
Hardly a
varied diet
Is it?
Are you wearing Christmas slippers?
They look
very cute it must be said
But I think
they’d look much cuter
If I was to
see them under my bed
Twas the night before Christmas and at the North Pole
Some of the
elves will be signing on the dole
There was a
bit of a cock up with the naughty and nice list
When the
elves in dispatch all got totally pissed
