IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 1

 

Is Santa Claus really a woman?

Oh do me a favour please

It’s obviously a man

Why is it so hard to believe?

That’s why everything happens

Late on Christmas Eve

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 2

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

Walk up to them and say

“Can I take a picture of you Miss,

So I can show Santa exactly

What I want for Christmas”

WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 1

When Santa isn’t working

With a happy ho ho ho

He likes to tend his garden

With his Hoe Hoe Hoe

WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 2

 

When Santa isn’t working

With a happy ho ho ho

He likes to ballroom dance

Going quick quick slow

Then he dances backwards

And he goes oh oh oh

WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 1

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?

There was a very simple reason

It was due to a lack of options for a Turkey

During the Christmas season

WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 4

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Well contrary to the fable

It was to avoid ending up

On the Christmas table

DO NOT EAT CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS

 

Do not eat Christmas decorations

They are not nutritious in the slightest

And apart from that very simple fact

You will end up with bad tinsilitis