CHRISTMAS EVE IN THE KENNELS

 

It was Christmas Eve in the kennels

And all the canines were all agog

They all made merry all night long

Finishing by singing Fleas Navi Dog

RUDOLPH GOT AN F

 

Rudolph got an F in his exam

Which was a mystery

But after his paper was remarked

He went down in History

IF AN ELF IS WEARING EARMUFFS

 

If an Elf is wearing earmuffs

Call him anything you choose

Safe in the happy knowledge

That he can’t possibly hear you

ON CHRISTMAS EVE THE CHIMNEYS STAND

 

On Christmas Eve the chimneys stand

Waiting for Santa to go down them

And he duly obliges each one in turn

To visit every house because it soots him

MUM WAS DETERMINED

 

This year, Mum was determined, for the first time,

To have the happy time the family had lacked

So, when she was preparing the bird for the oven

She stuffed the Turkey with sage, onion and Prozac!

SANTA’S NEW TEAM

 

All of Santa’s new electric Reindeer

Were all lined up by the charger

Waiting patiently in turn to use it

As Santa and Rudolf looked on

Santa asked “Shall I tell the others

Or would you rather do it?”

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 43

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the pub

The air was scented with cinnamon

From all the festive grub

From spiced Christmas Ale

Or Gluwein served from a tub