I DON’T UNDERSTAND MARKETING

 

I don’t understand marketing at all

When opportunities seem myriad

Like a sanitary products campaign

Specifically, for the Christmas period

I USED MY FIRE STICK TO ORDER A HAMPER

 

I used my Fire Stick to order a hamper

Something much admired by my wife

At the festive time of year that pleases

On arrival I found the box contained

Our infant saviour so I loudly exclaimed

“Bloody hell Alexa I said Baby Cheeses”

SANTA HAS HIS WORKSHOP

 

Santa has his workshop

Up in Lapland

But the Sleeping Reindeer

Go to napland

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 42

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the City

Peoples were alone for the season

Which was such a pity

The Church was the one place

Where they never felt alone

As they were welcomed

And made to feel at home

THEY FIRST MET ON A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EVE

 

They first met on a special Christmas Eve

And chemistry sparked between the two

When passions fires were truly quenched

He asked before bidding her a fond adieu

“What are you doing on New Year’s Eve?”

She replied “oh I’m definitely doing you”

I DON’T WANT A CHRISTMAS GIFT

 

I don’t want a Christmas gift

That’s very practical

Nor a homemade present

Or something musical

Not an article for wearing

Nothing thoughtful or twee

No items for the garden

Or anything scented fragrantly

And nothing so expensive that

The value is shocking

I just want something shapely

In a Christmas stocking

TOM BAWCOCK'S EVE, (23rd December)

 

Legendary Mousehole resident Tom Bawcock

Went out to fish beneath a storm filled sky

To lift a famine from the village, and to honour him

They hold an annual festival and eat Stargazy pie