IT’S SUCH A MILD NEW YEAR

 

It’s such a mild New Year

All the birds are singing noisily

Noisy little bastards

Should be frozen to a tree

NEW YEARS PICKUP # 1

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

On New Year’s Eve

Before the bells begin to clang

Ask her if she wants to

Ring in the New Year with a bang? 

THE YEAR IS TURNING

 

The year is turning, the cycle

Has made another revolution

It’s time once more to make

The obligatory resolution

Which is broken within days

But this year I have a solution

In order to make it last

I will not make a resolution

NEW RESOLVE

 

My New Year resolution

Was to find a solution

To my misshapen figure

And lack of vim and vigour

Though feeling rather grim

I signed up for the gym

First came the orientation

And equipment demonstration

I was told of suitable clothes

Something loose that flows

I said “the reason or the point

Of me being in this joint

And why I signed up tonight

Is all my clothes are tight”

OLD YEARS NIGHT

 

My wife is an optimist

Which is why, she stays up

On New Year’s Eve

To see in the new one

 

I am by nature a pessimist

Which means, that I stay up

On New Year’s Eve

To make sure the old one has gone

FROM ONE YEAR TO THE NEXT

 

I want to kiss you

On December 31st

Before the clock strikes twelve

Until the last chime

Echoes in the night

Of January the first

So, one year will come to an end

In the most amazing way

And the next will have

A beautiful beginning

THIS YEAR’S NEW YEAR’S EVE FORECAST;

 

This year’s New Year’s Eve forecast;

A row with the girlfriend, acute loneliness

Followed by being mostly drunk with

A very slight chance of unconsciousness