You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Because Daddy
Has just worked
A 14 hour
day
And now has
to drive
300 miles
of Christmas traffic
To spend
another bloody Christmas
At Grandma
Browns
House of doom
So, he is
not in the mood
For any of
your shit
Oh Santa Claus the bells the bells are calling
From town
to town, where goodwill doth abide
The summers
gone, the autumn leaves have fallen
We’re near,
we’re near another Christmas tide
So come ye
back to us on Christmas Evening
When all
the land is hushed and white with snow
And we will
leave your milk and cookies
Oh Santa
Claus, you know we love you so
The doctor scratches his head
And is almost struck dumb
Why did Santa Claus have
A mince pie stuck up his bum
The only answer was
On a pie he must have sat
So, the doctor said
“I’ll give you some cream to put on that”
It’s just as well that Jesus
Wasn’t born
today to be fair
As there
aren’t 3 wise men
And a virgin
anywhere
What do you call a blind reindeer?
During the
governments austere stance
“Fit for
work and no longer eligible
For any disability
allowance”
When Christmas Day was over
Mrs. Claus
needed a release
It was a
very stressful time
Spreading
good will and peace
So as soon
as Santa was rested
She always
liked to have a bit
And more often
than not
They’d go and
do it in the sleigh
The pipes of Christmas past
Carry with
every merry blast
Seasonal joy
when they play
Their tunes
of Christmas day
