THE BIG FELLA’S R & R

 

After circumnavigating the globe

Staring at the back end of Prancer

Santa Claus really looks forward

To watching a north pole dancer

HANDLE MUM WITH CARE

 

Mum gets really stressed out at Christmas

And you upset her if you dare

Because the result could be that you will

Be hung from the chimney with care

SANTA CLAUS IS IN TROUBLE

Santa Claus is in trouble

He’s been up to his old tricks again

When the Christmas fairy was found

Licking his candy cane 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 322

 

It’s raining its pouring

The weather’s wet and stormy

I went to bed because they said

It’s due to global warming

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS EARRINGS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas earrings?

They’re really quite adorable

Would it be inappropriate to say?

That I really like your baubles

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 1

 

Is Santa Claus really a woman?

Oh, do me a favour please

It’s obviously a man

Why is it so hard to believe?

That’s why everything happens

Late on Christmas Eve

LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 3

 

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,

But I’m sorry to say,

That your gift to me

Was chlamydia