SANTA CLAUS IS IN TROUBLE

Santa Claus is in trouble

He’s been up to his old tricks again

When the Christmas fairy was found

Licking his candy cane 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 322

 

It’s raining its pouring

The weather’s wet and stormy

I went to bed because they said

It’s due to global warming

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS EARRINGS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas earrings?

They’re really quite adorable

Would it be inappropriate to say?

That I really like your baubles

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 1

 

Is Santa Claus really a woman?

Oh, do me a favour please

It’s obviously a man

Why is it so hard to believe?

That’s why everything happens

Late on Christmas Eve

LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 3

 

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,

But I’m sorry to say,

That your gift to me

Was chlamydia

BAD SANTA # 1

 

Bad Santa is a bit of a perve

For the girls with a bit of curve

And he thinks that the naughty list

Is really more like his to-do list

AS WE APPROACH ANOTHER YULE

 

As we approach another Yule

Its time I went off on the pull

Looking for a Christmas honey

Someone attractive and funny

And if I manage to attract her

I will pull a Christmas cracker