MAY THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON

May this Christmas season

Be overflowing with Christmas spirit

Enough to banish all the Grinch’s

And the Ebenezer Scrooges

And make it a very merry Christmas 

I BUILT THE PERFECT SNOWMAN

 

I built the perfect snowman

Well, a snow-woman actually

She was a little disproportionate

But she was perfect to me

She was a little cold

But we could’ve been happy

 

I wrapped her in a blanked

And took her to my bed

In the morning I was hoping,

Though nothing was said

That we would make love

But I woke alone instead

And to make matters worst

One of us had wet the bed

MY WIFE HAS MADE IT CLEAR TO ME

 

I mustn’t leave my shopping,

My wife has made it clear to me,

Until late on Christmas Eve

For my Christmas won’t be merry

If all she gets is cheap perfume

And more slutty lingerie

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 321

 

There was a little girl

Who had a little curl

Unlike all her mates

Who had theirs waxed

ARE YOU WEARING STRIPY STOCKINGS?

 

Are you wearing stripy stockings?

It must be that time of the year again

I know you think they’re cute, but

Your legs look like candy canes

CHRISTMAS EVE IN THE WORKHOUSE # 1

 

It’s Christmas Eve in the workhouse,

And not a hint of the seasons in sight

No stockings hang by the fire side

They’ll be no treats in store tonight

THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS

 

The magic of Christmas

Is the Christmas cheer

What a shame it can’t last

Throughout the year