A VEGETARIAN CHRISTMAS

 

Do you want to celebrate?

A vegetarian Christmas

Then here you are

Have a freshly strained

Vegetable every day

With the advent colander

LET’S RAISE A GLASS TO MUM # 2

 

Let’s raise a glass to Mum

For yet another job well done

And the essence of my reasoning

Is, you are the festive seasoning

For by chasing the blandness away

It’s you who flavours the day

WHATEVER FUTURE GIFTS

 

Whatever future gifts

That might make me glad

Or any from the past

Including when I was a lad

There is nothing to compare

To the gift of being a Dad

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 316

 

Jack ate all the lean

Jill ate all the fat

So now he’s anorexic

And she is always sat

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS DRESS?

 

Are you wearing a Christmas Dress?

The big red ribbon is particularly pleasant

I’m itching to pull at that bow

So, when do I get to open my present

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 7

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the Hotel

There were creatures emitting a terrible smell

And the cause of the awful pungent aroma

Was an octogenarian party from Cromer 

MY VERY WORST CHRISTMAS EVER

 

My very worst Christmas ever

Was when I got an empty carton

All dog-eared and flattened out

For hours of innocent ex-box fun