ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS SWEATER?

 

Are you wearing a Christmas sweater?

Well, this season just keeps on getting better

It’s not that I like novelty knitwear

But I can ogle your chest and you won’t care

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 17

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house

Not a creature was stirring not even a louse

But there is a reason and here’s the tell

It’s just been fumigated and stank like hell

A CAROL FOR THE 21ST CENTURY - AWAY IN A MANGER

 

Away in a manger

No crib for a bed …

The little Lord Jesus

Lay down his sweet head

I don’t think it matters

How gently you sing

Social services don’t care

For this kind of thing

LITTLE CHILD, LONELY CHILD

 

Little child,

Lonely child,

Face pressed

Against the glass

Breath blooming,

On the window pain

What do you seek?

Outside in the cold

In that bleak winter scene

Do you listen for sleigh bells?

Out in the snow

Is it the man in red?

You wait alone for

Why do you listen?

So intently at the silence

What was that sound?

Out in the cold

Not sleigh bells

No, a car door

Now a figure appears

Who is it?

Not the man in red

Little child,

Lonely child,

Is excited now,

Rushes to the door

Its daddy, its daddy

Home at last

WHO ATE ALL THE PIES?

 

The old fat fella

In the big red suit

Of delivering gifts

In his festive pursuit

 

Wide black belt

And big black boot

The jolly fat bloke

Ruddy and hirsute

 

He does great good

That’s not in dispute

But he eats too much

So, he’s a chubby brute

 

So, when he visits

On his Christmas commute

Don’t leave him a pie

Leave him some fruit

PARTY CLAUS

 

What does Santa do after Christmas?

Well, if you want to know the truth

He parties hard with Mrs. Claus

Til they melt the snow off the roof

BRIGHTEST TIME

 

At Christmas time

There is only one thing

Brighter than the Christmas lights

And that is the magical look

On a child’s face

Full of wonder and delight