THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

 

All year long I fancied Lucy

But she turned out to be fickle

So I thought I’d drown my sorrows

And have a few festive tipples

But I ended up in a cupboard

With a girl with hairy nipples

CANDLELIGHT

 

Across the distant lonely miles

There stands my love

With comrade’s brave

Who stands beneath a Christmas sky

Singing carols just as I

Familiar carols

And sentiments we share.

Of course, it’s Christmas,

That makes me wish you near

And makes me wipe away a tear

I pray to God to keep you safe

To wrap you in his loving light

Now the bells of Christmas fill the air

And I think of my love standing there

Underneath the Christmas sky.

In the church I keep a candle lit

That will burn while we’re apart

And my undying love for him

Will keep burning in my heart

GIFTS FOR EVERYONE

 

Jimmy got an iPod

Sally got an iPhone

Dad got an iPad

Mum got an iRon

Happy Christmas? iThink not

CHRISTMAS TREE

 

My brother has a Christmas tree

My sister has one too

My parents have a Christmas tree

That is beautiful to view

 

The town square has a Christmas tree

The school has one too

Trafalgar square has a Christmas tree

That is beautiful to view

 
And the thing they have in common

Is that they are CHRISTMAS trees

Decorated and trimmed

To be quite beautiful you see

 

They are not part of a general holiday

Nor are they akin to Hanukkah

They are not part of a Winter Festival

CHRISTMAS Trees is what they are

 

And around our Christmas tree

We celebrate the blessed day

And all say Happy Christmas

But never happy holiday

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

 

The presents look wonderful

Beneath the Christmas tree

The holly and the mistletoe

Are arranged delightfully

 

The gingerbread men are ready

Cinnamon cookies are fresh baked

The Yule log is ready for cutting

And so is the Christmas cake

 

Festive cocktails have been mixed

The eggnog will taste sublime

There are traditional winter ales

Or there is always the mulled wine

Then the bells of Christmas ring,

Well, the doorbell is ringing

Is that the guest’s arriving?

Or the caroler’s come singing

 

Friends and family have arrived

It’s time to meet and greet

They have travelled far and near

To see them is such a treat

 

The mantel dressed with greens

The scent of Christmas fills the air

And all the children rush to see

The stockings hanging there

 

I love these get-togethers

And when all is said and done

We’re making Christmas memories

So Merry Christmas everyone

CHRISTMAS FOLLY REVISITED

 

I have no need of jollity

Or happy yuletide fare

I have no Christmas gift to wrap

There’s no one here to share

 

I have no time for Christmas

Just the time to reminisce

I have no need of mistletoe

Because she’s not here to kiss

 

So, I will spend the time alone

On a lonely Christmas day

But I have no need of sympathy

Because I let her slip away

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 54

 

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner

Eating his Christmas pie

He stuck in his thumb

After scratching his bum

Then offered to share his pie.