DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?

 

What would you call a man?

With a big belly and no dress sense

Who never replies to your letters

A man that’s too lazy to shave

And is obsessed with stockings,

Who can only be relied upon for one day a year

Will never stop to ask for directions

A man who only owns one suit

Never gets you the present you asked for

And needs to be rewarded with food and drink

Oh, and always leaves the dirty dishes

Well, what do you think? Could be any man alive eh?

So, what would you call this man?

I would call him Santa

COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS

 

When Jack Frost is abroad

And the Thanksgiving snow falls

When we hear the first sleigh bell’s ring

Christmas isn’t far away at all

So, make those lists and join the throng

Of happy shoppers down at the mall

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 174

 

Little Robin Red breast sat upon a tree,

He was joined by his mate, they looked so twee

They sang their little songs quite lustily

Then I threw a shoe at them you see

Because I didn’t get to bed till half past three

ARE YOU WEARING ELF EARS?

 

Are you wearing elf ears?

It’s a very sweet look on you

So, take me to your workshop

And do what little elves do

CHRISTMAS DAY IN THE WORKHOUSE # 4

 

It’s Christmas day in the workhouse

Just another grey day to endure

We are being treated to pot noodle

So, Oliver won’t be asking for more

CHRISTMAS DREAM # 2

I dream of Christmas

Laying in my cozy room

Dreaming of the carol singers

Singing their Christmas tunes

WATCH OUT

 

Watch out, watch out

There’s a lech about

He’s stalked you all year long

Amidst the office throng

Watch out for Mr. Ross

Your lecherous boss

Who’s been waiting all year long

With a desire so strong

Watch out, watch out

There’s a lech about

Who wants to hold you in embrace

And kiss your pretty face

Watch out for Mr. Ross

Your lecherous boss

As he looks at you all agog

Intent upon a snog

So, when old Mr. Ross

Your lecherous boss

Grabs you under the mistletoe

Just tell him where to go