HAND KNITTED GLOVES

Hand knitted gloves

Scarves and hats

Novelty slippers

A book of cricket stats

Soap on a rope

Hankies and socks

These are examples

Of my Christmas box 

IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY

 

IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY

 

If you listen carefully

Late on Christmas Eve

You might hear a sound

You might not believe

 

For behind the skirting

In the quiet of the house

The little creatures say

Happy Christmouse

THE CHRISTMAS PARTY IS OVER

 

The Christmas party is over

And so, I guess

It’s now the time to wish you

A Happy Christmess

CELEBRATING CRIMBO

 

Some drunken bimbo

With legs akimbo

Showing off her bits

From ankle to pits

Lay in the gutter

And was heard to utter

To a fellow bimbo

Hacky crambo

CHRISTMAS SPOILERS

 

The Christmas spoilers

Will soon be with us again

And that as you well know

Means the bloody children

THE QUEEN’S SPEECH

 

The Queen it would appear

Gets a TV special every year

But one of my many queries

Is why does she never get a series?

THE BEST FORM OF EXERCISE

 

The best form of exercise

Is sex! Well, that’s what they say

But five minutes at Christmas

Won’t take my beer gut away