CELEBRATING CRIMBO

 

Some drunken bimbo

With legs akimbo

Showing off her bits

From ankle to pits

Lay in the gutter

And was heard to utter

To a fellow bimbo

Hacky crambo

CHRISTMAS SPOILERS

 

The Christmas spoilers

Will soon be with us again

And that as you well know

Means the bloody children

THE QUEEN’S SPEECH

 

The Queen it would appear

Gets a TV special every year

But one of my many queries

Is why does she never get a series?

THE BEST FORM OF EXERCISE

 

The best form of exercise

Is sex! Well, that’s what they say

But five minutes at Christmas

Won’t take my beer gut away

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 304

There was a Ship sailed away to Spain

All the way there it was lashed with rain

And when they arrived at last in Spain

Where the rain didn’t fall in the main

As Higgins suggested on the plain

I DON’T MEAN TO GO INTO A PANIC

I don’t mean to go into a panic

Or cause a massive fuss

But there are now only twelve

Shoplifting days until Christmas

MY WIFE LOVES EXCHANGING PRESENTS

 

My wife loves exchanging presents

Happily, amidst the Christmas cheer

In fact, she enjoys it so very much

She exchanges my gift every year