IF ONLY YOUR LEFT LEG WAS THANKSGIVING

 

If only your left leg was Thanksgiving

And your right leg was Christmas day

Then I could devote all of my time

To visiting you between the holidays

WHEN SANTA RETURNED HOME

 

When Santa returned home

To have his tea

His wife was there

Waiting apprehensively

“There was a phone call for you”

Said Mrs. C

“It was a little garbled

And made no sense to me

Something about Saville

And Operation Yewtree”

GROPIUS THE EIGHTH DWARF

 

Gropius the eighth dwarf

Is no longer a performer

Since all the allegations

He’s on the offender’s register

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 300

 

Baa Baa black sheep

Have you any wool?

Please say yes sir

To make my wagon full

 

No, I don’t have any wool

You bloody Wally

I’m not a sheep

I’m your Border Collie

SEE THE HAPPY FACES GLOWING

 

It’s Christmas time again

See the happy faces glowing

Putting love in every heart

Until they’re overflowing

ABANDONING THE NATIVITY

 

It’s ironic that schools

Are abandoning the nativity

When half a dozen Schoolgirls

Could play the Virgin Mary

Although they’re not virgins

They do have their own baby

SO WHEN YOUNG MRS CLAUS ARRIVED IN TOWN

 

So, when young Mrs Claus arrived in town

I looked at her with her pure white hair

She was a pretty woman but to my discredit

I couldn’t help thinking as I looked at her

How I like the collar and cuffs to match

So obviously I was thinking of a little white fur