Are you wearing Christmas hosiery?
Phwor are you going to
let me see
Oh, how they cling to
the shape of you
I would like to cling
to them too
Oh yes, I like them
very much
Perhaps I might have a
touch
Oh, you are a proper
tease
Would you let me if I
said please?
I love mince pies at Christmas
But they don’t return
the favour
I wish you could get
Gaviscon
In brandy butter
flavour
During the Christmas holiday
From coast to coast
What do you call a
stuffed animal?
We call it a turkey
roast
I am a man of simple tastes
But obviously there’s
a twist
So, all I want for
Christmas
Is Santa’s naughty
girl list
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
“Can I have your picture?”
You ask to establish a
premise
“So, I can show Santa
Claus
What I want for
Christmas?”
Ebenezer Scrooge went to court,
Accused of shagging a
cat
The judge dismissed
the case in a jiffy
And said in all his
years as a judge,
That he'd never known
Scrooge
To put anything into a kitty
Breakfast time comes
Just after day breaks
When Santa’s little
helpers
Eat their Frosted
Flakes!
