ARE YOU WEARING A SANTA HAT?

 

Are you wearing a Santa hat?

A festive little “tit for tat”

Well, it really does suit

In fact, you look very cute

Are you wearing it for fun?

Or do you have it set at anyone?

I think it looks very twee

I wish you were wearing it for me

BY CAR, BY PLANE, BY TRAIN

 

They make the journey each year

By car, by plane, by train,

Travelling across the miles

To spend Christmas at home again

MARY CHRISTMAS

 

Before Mary Christmas

Married Santa Claus

She had some concerns

And decided to take pause

To discuss a pre-nup

Within the current laws

She was not concerned

With any character flaws

She just wanted the security

Of a get out Claus

SINGLE GIRLS

 

(Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)

 

Single girls, single girls

They go all the way

Oh! what fun it is to ride

On a single girl today

CHRISTMAS FELICITATIONS

 

Merry Christmas,

Good will to all men,

The festive season

Is with us once again,

 

The special holy day

Is growing very near

So Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Year

TOO MERRY CHRISTMAS

 

I made too merry yesterday

I had a splendid day

In Christmas celebration

I indulged in every way

But now my head is splitting

The morning after the play

So, I will nurse my head

For all of Boxing Day

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 5

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

During the Christmas season

Walk up and say something shocking

“How about I slip down your chimney,

After midnight and fill your stocking”