ARE YOU WEARING AN ELF OUTFIT?

 

Are you wearing an elf outfit?

Does it come with all the kit?

Pixie boots and a floppy hat

The green tights and all that

If you come to the grotto with me

You can call me Santa and sit on my knee

MEDIEVAL CHRISTMAS PIE

 

For the wealthy landowners

In medieval times

Food was plentiful

At Christmas time

And A few days before the holy day

The kitchen at the manor

Would begin their preparations

First a huge pasty case was made

For a special festive pie

Into the bottom of the huge pastry case

Went enormous amounts of forcemeat,

This was ground beef and lamb

Heavily seasoned with salt and pepper,

On this were placed boned and boiled hens,

Rabbits, Ducks and assorted game birds

Another layer of forcemeat was added

Then marrow, hard boiled egg yokes

Currants, prunes and dates

Spices such as cloves and saffron,

Mace and cinnamon

Finished off the ample filling

It was then covered

With the huge pastry lid and baked

And such a feast was had

The poor were less fortunate

Unless they had a goodly lord at the manor

But bad masters were

As plentiful as the feast

And so Christmas for the poor

Was often less than merry

SATAN RULES KO

 

If you’re a worshiper of Satan

And you suffer from Dyslexia

Take care before you commit

You may sell your soul to Santa

HOOK

 

There is something puzzling me

As it doesn’t say in the book

Before his hand was taken

What did they call captain hook

 

It’s a difficult one to answer

Maybe he was evil captain fist

Or was he called captain two hands

Not really a very menacing list

 

And was it simply irony, mere chance

Or was his accident planned

For if not for the crocodile

He would have remained a deck hand

CHRISTMAS CANDLE

 

Candlelight of beauty

Adorning church and alter

None excluded from Christ’s love

Darkness brightly conquered

Light of Christ illuminating

Everlasting light of life

SUPERSTITIOUSLY WHITE CHRISTMAS

 

If on Christmas day

Snow fall is seen

Then come Easter

Everywhere be green

COOL YULE

 

Last day of school,

Kids say “that’s cool”

Angel’s wings

Shepherd brings

Presents for Jesus

Rudolf sneezes

Everything is frosting over

Even my car made by “Rover”

Reindeer fly

But I can’t fly

But I have cream on my

Hot mince pie

But I still get a lift

When I get a gift