WANTED: SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER

 

It wasn’t efficiency

Santa wanted from his helper

He preferred them to be

A barker and a yelper

But then the vacancy was for

Santa’s slutty little helper

RUDOLF’S LOW SELF ESTEEM

 

Rudolf suffered

From low self esteem

Due to the red nose

It would seem

 

It rendered him useless

As a parcel carrier

So, Santa made a call

To a reindeer whisperer

IT ISN’T SUPPED WITH ENDLESS BEERS

 

The magic of Christmas

Isn’t supped with endless beers

Nor is it to be expressed

Within vociferous cheers

The magic of Christmas

As through all the years

Is to be found in the company

Of your nears and dears

CHRISTMAS DAY JUST AFTER LUNCH

 

Christmas day just after Lunch

My family, being a fun loving bunch

Engage enthusiastically one and all

In parlour games to enthral

At first the alcohol fuelled the fun

And a good time was had by everyone

However, as the day wore on

With all self-control long gone

The games degenerate into farce

As an opponent is knocked on his arse

And the afternoon ends in tears

As it has done across the years

And dad makes his annual decree

“Games are forthwith banned” said he

EVERY YEAR WITHOUT FAIL - FROSTY

 

Every year without fail

On Christmas Eve

It would appear

And we children

Would squeal out

A deafening cheer

 

When the source

Of our excitement

Was carefully set down

And we would sit

In our clean pajama’s

And dressing gown

 

And stare at the object

Open mouthed

In gleeful expectation

Of what was beneath

The cotton wool and

Crepe paper creation

 

We would have to wait

The longest time

In anticipation

But it was worth it

Too see inside the belly

Of Frosty’s incarnation

 

And when we thought

We could wait no longer

We all jumped to our feet

As Dad slowly removed

The carrot faced head

And revealed the treats

And as Dad gave Frosty

A little shake, out spilled

The Christmas sweets

THE YOUNG ELF EDUCATIONALISTS

 

The young Elf Educationalists

Have discovered an alarming theme

Those who struggle to learn the Elf-abet

Will in later life suffer low Elf esteem

WE WENT TO A FAIRY TALE PARTY

 

We went to a fairy tale party

Which I thought was crappy

I ended up feeling grumpy

While my wife was felling happy