Friday, 19 November 2021

CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 4

 

So we could go Christmas shopping

I kept the kids home from school today

Because if I’d gone on my own

I’d have gotten the wrong sizes, so hey

I AM BLESSED WITH FRIENDS AT CHRISTMAS

 

I am blessed with Friends

Some of them are fruity

Some are soaked in alcohol

Some of them are nutty

Some are sweet

Some add spice

Some add zest

Some smell nice

But when mixed together

And yuletide is upon us

They become without doubt

The fruit cake of Christmas

I SAW SANTA CLAUS LAST NIGHT

 

I saw Santa Claus last night

Messing with a ho ho ho

When he was kissing her

Underneath the camel toe

FAIRY TALE STATISTIC

 

Here’s a Statistic

That’s really crappy

6 out of 7 dwarves

Really aren’t Happy

YOU ARE A NAUGHTY LITTLE ELF

 

You are a naughty little Elf

Do you behave yourself?

By the look upon your face

You’re no stranger to disgrace

So it is my Christmas wish

To share a Christmas kiss

So climb upon me knee

And you will quickly see

I have that special touch

That you’ll like very much

When I curl your toes

Inside your ho ho hose

THE PIPES OF CHRISTMAS PAST BLOW OUT

 

The pipes of Christmas past blow out

The melodies of yesteryear

With memories to warm the heart

And bring a sentimental tear

A DOG ISN’T JUST FOR CHRISTMAS

 

A dog isn’t just for Christmas

That’s what they say

And they are correct

It’s also nice cold on Boxing Day