A BELL RINGER GOT THE BELL ROPE

 

A Bell ringer got the bell rope

Tangled around his thigh

And as a result, he caught

His ding dong merrily on high

RED SUIT

 

Santa Claus wears his famous red suit

As down another Chimney he’ll shoot

But no one knows what’s under there

He likes dressing in Ladies underwear

HAND KNITTED GLOVES

 

Hand knitted gloves

Scarves and hats

Novelty slippers

A book of cricket stats

Soap on a rope

Hankies and socks

These are examples

Of my Christmas box

IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY

 

If you listen carefully

Late on Christmas Eve

You might hear a sound

You might not believe

 

For behind the skirting

In the quiet of the house

The little creatures say

Happy Christmouse

CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 2

 

I kept Lily home from school

For Christmas shopping

Because it’s the very best time

 

To get all the presents on the list

Especially when you believe

That shoplifting isn’t a crime

OLIVE THE 10TH REINDEER

 

Olive the other reindeer,

Used to laugh and call him names

She never let poor Rudolph 

Join in any reindeer games

So he planted drugs in her stall

And got her chucked off the team

SO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE CLAUSTROPHOBIC

 

So you think that you are Claustrophobic

Well I doubt that is a phobia of yours

As I should tell you that Claustrophobia

Is definitely not a fear of Santa Claus