IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY

 

If you listen carefully

Late on Christmas Eve

You might hear a sound

You might not believe

 

For behind the skirting

In the quiet of the house

The little creatures say

Happy Christmouse

CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 2

 

I kept Lily home from school

For Christmas shopping

Because it’s the very best time

 

To get all the presents on the list

Especially when you believe

That shoplifting isn’t a crime

OLIVE THE 10TH REINDEER

 

Olive the other reindeer,

Used to laugh and call him names

She never let poor Rudolph 

Join in any reindeer games

So he planted drugs in her stall

And got her chucked off the team

SO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE CLAUSTROPHOBIC

 

So you think that you are Claustrophobic

Well I doubt that is a phobia of yours

As I should tell you that Claustrophobia

Is definitely not a fear of Santa Claus

AFTER A LONG FLIGHT ON THE SLEIGH

 

After a long flight on the sleigh

Listening to Sleigh bells jingle

It wasn’t milk and cookies

That made Santa’s taste buds tingle

It was the thought of Mrs. Claus’s

Freshly made Crisp Cringle

THERE WAS A MEXICAN SHEPHERD

 

There was a Mexican shepherd

Who once worked for my dad

And every Christmas time

He wished us Fleece Navidad

WHEN I WAS A KID @ XMAS

 

When I was a kid

On Christmas Morning

The day began

With excited howls

Of “Has he been?”

Because we didn’t get gifts

Until my Dad

Had evacuated his bowels