CELEBRATING CRIMBO

 

Some drunken bimbo

With legs akimbo

Showing off her bits

From ankle to pits

Lay in the gutter

And was heard to utter

To a fellow bimbo

Hacky crambo

WHEN CHRISTMAS DAY COMES

 

When Christmas Day comes

And the wrapping paper rustles

Enjoy the day like no other, as it’s

A Brexit Christmas, ie no Brussels

SANTA CLAUS IS A MAN

 

Santa Claus is a man, make no mistake

Because he always gets to your house late

Eats your cookie before emptying his sack

Calls you a ho before he turns his back

And then he leaves while you’re asleep

So, Santa Claus is a man, the fat arsed creep

THEY HAVE PIZZA AT THE NORTH POLE

 

They have pizza at the North Pole

On the feast of Stephen

And they always have the same one

Deep-pan, crisp and even

THE SOUND OF CHRISTMAS

When I heard “Ho Ho” Whoosh,

I knew I’d heard the sound before

It happened when Father Christmas

Went through a revolving door

I GOT A CHRISTMAS CARD TODAY

 

I got a Christmas card today

And it was full of rice again

I knew instantly why, because

It was from my Uncle Ben

SANTA PUT A CLOCK IN HIS SLEIGH

 

Santa put a clock in his sleigh

And the Elf’s asked him why

So, he explained to them

That he like to watch time fly