SANTA ASKED ABIGAIL

Santa asked as a little girl climbed onto his lap,

"And what would you like for Christmas Abigail?"

The child stared at him open mouthed with horror

And then she snapped "Didn't you get my E-mail?" 

DURING THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY

 

During the Christmas holiday

From coast to coast

What do you call a stuffed animal?

We call it a turkey roast

UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 2

 

You can now buy a UKIP

Advent calendar

I’ve never seen one before

I don’t know what message is inside

Because for some reason

All you can hear is a slamming door

I LOVE MINCE PIES AT CHRISTMAS

 

I love mince pies at Christmas

But they don’t return the favour

I wish you could get Gaviscon

In brandy butter flavour

ABANDONING THE NATIVITY

 

It’s ironic that schools

Are abandoning the nativity

When half a dozen Schoolgirls

Could play the Virgin Mary

Although they’re not virgins

They do have their own baby

SEE THE HAPPY FACES GLOWING

It’s Christmas time again

See the happy faces glowing

Putting love in every heart

Until they’re overflowing

A MAN BOUGHT A CHRISTMAS TREE

A man bought a Christmas tree

He got it off the shelf

But he was rushed to A & E

After putting it up himself