Gropius the eighth dwarf
Is no longer a
performer
Since all the
allegations
He’s on the offender’s
register
Sunday, 7 November 2021
GROPIUS THE EIGHTH DWARF
A NOVELTY CHRISTMAS CAPER
It was a novelty Christmas caper
I was given some
Sudoku toilet paper
Not a gift I would
choose
You can only use number 1s and 2s
Uncanny Christmas Tales – (016) Christmas Wrap
When I was a kid and
it came time for the “oldies” to open their presents I was always amazed by the
fuss they would make about the wrapping paper.
They would first
admire it then they would caress it tenderly and then they would gingerly begin
to unwrap the gift, and once unwrapped they would inexplicably set aside the present
while they carefully folded the wrapping paper so it could be used again the
following year, and then and only then would they turn their full attention on the
gift, and then this ritual would be repeated with each subsequent present and
would be performed by all of the oldies.
As a child I was
confused and quite frankly didn’t understand why they didn’t tear the paper to
shreds like the rest of us.
Looking back, I can
only assume that this was as a result of having been through the hard times, the
depression of the thirties, the shortages of the war years and the austerity of
the fifties.
My mum would go
through the whole ritual and would carefully tuck her pile of wrapping paper, bows
and ribbons, away in the sideboard draw “Ready for next year”.
Come the next year and
the fabulous treasures which had been so thoughtfully secreted away were
nowhere to be seen, only new rolls of wrapping paper, packs of bows and reels
of ribbons.
So, I think to myself
sanity has been restored this year it will be about the presents not what they
were wrapped in.
But no, on Christmas
day it’s the same ritual all over again.
IN HIS ADVENTURE’S
In his adventure’s against
Captain Hooks pirate
band
Peter Pan always flies
CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE
“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire”
That’s Christmas day with Stephen
But I only have myself to blame
For marrying a sodding vegan
RISQUÉ OR RUDE
If you do something at Christmas
That’s either risqué
or rude
Then don’t be at all
surprised
If it ends up on Yule
Tube
INSULTED SANTA
The local shopping Mall Santa
Turned out to be a very grumpy chap
When a little girl put a bin bag
down
Just before she sat on
his lap
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