DURING THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY

 

During the thanksgiving holiday

From coast to coast

What do you call a stuffed animal?

We call it a turkey roast

THANKSGIVING DAY TURKEY

 

Bimbette was preparing

For Thanksgiving Day

One hour per pound

So the instructions say

“One hundred and ten

Pound’s is what I weigh”

Bimbette said and put

The Turkey on a baking tray

And roasted the bird

For almost five days

ARE YOU WEARING A TURKEY SUIT?

 

Are you wearing a turkey suit?

I really love holiday pranks

But you look like a total arse

And for that I give thanks

BLACK FRIDAY IS AN ODD ACTIVITY

 

Black Friday is an odd activity, dripping with irony,

For people who, from the moment they open the door

Will fight tooth and claw over materialistic things

That the day after celebrating all they were thankful for

CELEBRATING BLACK FRIDAY

 

I can say that this year I will be

Celebrating Black Friday

By completely ignoring it

Which is in my traditional way

THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT FLIES FASTER

 

There is only one thing that flies faster

Than stock off the shelves on Black Friday

And that is the endless flash of white

Of till receipt as the customers pay

I THINK BLACK FRIDAY

 

I think Black Friday

Is an appropriate name

It’s not a happy event

It’s like the Hunger Games

THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING

 

The day after Thanksgiving

Is known as "Black Friday"

Because it matches the mood

Of unhappy shoppers that day

WHAT DO THE WELL FED SHOPPERS EAT

What do the well fed shoppers eat

Among the throng on Black Friday?

Obviously they gorge themselves

On leftovers from Thanksgiving Day 

BLACK FRIDAY WEEK

 

I miss the good old days

When Black Friday

Was actually limited

To one single Day

GIVE THANKS FOR SOMETHING

 

My Great Aunts cooking was so bad

When we used to eat in her parlour

My Dad told us that Thanksgiving

Was to commemorate Pearl Harbour

HAPPY TURKEY DAY

When we have Thanksgiving Dinner

And were all seated at the table

The first thing I do is name the Turkey

And make everyone uncomfortable

ALTHOUGH IT HAS BECOME A FAMILY TRADITION

 

Although it has become a family tradition 

Not everyone over eats on Thanksgiving

And of course I’m referring to the Turkeys

Because they were stuffed in the beginning

MY FAMILY ALL TOLD ME TO STOP

 

My family all told me to stop

Telling Thanksgiving jokes,

But I had to say no, as I wasn’t

One of those “cold turkey” blokes

MUM WAS DETERMINED

This year, Mum was determined, for the first time,

To have the happy time the family had lacked

So, when she was preparing the bird for the oven

She stuffed the Turkey with sage, onion and Prozac!

THE THANKSGIVING TURKEY

 

The Thanksgiving Turkey

Risked being stricken

When he crossed the road

To prove he wasn't chicken!