BENEATH THE CLOCK

Beneath the clock I’m waiting expectantly
Awaiting my blind date a little nervously
He’s late but I don’t mind, at least not yet
He’ll have a good reason no doubt, I bet
He’s here at last and only an hour late
A good-looking man it was worth the wait
A kiss on the cheek and a smile how terrific
Oh but his breath could stop the traffic
But nobody’s perfect and he has a kind face
And he’s booked a table at an exclusive place
The restaurant looks fine, very expensive
Let’s hope appearances are not deceptive
The food is poor, and the service shambolic
His conversation is dull and monosyllabic
He drinks too excess and slobbers his food
His table manners are nothing short of rude
His drinking is driving me around the bend
I really can’t wait for the evening to end
The bill arrives and I’m asked to pay half
My immediate reply “You’re having a laugh”
He leaps to his feet and explodes with fury
Then falls backwards into the shrubbery
I throw him a look of contempt and disdain
Embarrassed I leave saying “never again”
How could I have known it would go so amiss?
I just can’t believe I shaved my legs for this