CANDY CANES, CINNAMON AND GINGER
Candy Canes,
Cinnamon and Ginger
Are some of my favourite
Christmas things
Especially when
They’re only wearing
Christmas Stockings
And Popcorn Strings
IF YOU PUT CANDY CANES ON THE TREE
If you put Candy canes on the tree
And Popcorn on strings
Then let me give the kind of advice
That experience brings
Don’t pack them away after the
Bell of New Year rings
Otherwise next year they will be
Seriously unsavory things
IN THE CHRISTMAS VILLAGE
In the Christmas village
At the North Pole
There is much excitement
Being kept under control
As there is to be an election
For every Elf and Troll
Votes can of course be cast
At the North Poll
GOOD KING WENCESLAS ORDERED OUT
Good King Wenceslas ordered out
On the feast of Stephen
An eighteen slice with extra cheese
Deep pan, crisp and even
SANTA'S FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG
Santa's favorite Christmas song
That he sings repeatedly
Is Santa Claus is coming to town
Sung by Elfish Presley
PICKUP # 6
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
“Can I have your picture?”
You ask to establish a premise
“So I can show Santa Claus
What I want for Christmas?”
WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 1
When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to tend his garden
With his Hoe Hoe Hoe
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 1
Why did the turkey cross the road?
There was a very simple reason
It was due to a lack of options for a Turkey
During the Christmas season
RED VELVET
I think a velvet suit
Especially one red hued
And I must choose my words
So not to appear rude
But it’s not the most slimming
For a rather portly dude
AFTER A LONG FLIGHT ON THE SLEIGH
After a long flight on the sleigh
Listening to Sleigh bells jingle
It wasn’t milk and cookies
That made Santa’s taste buds tingle
It was the thought of Mrs. Claus’s
Freshly made Crisp Cringle
THERE WAS A MEXICAN SHEPHERD
There was a Mexican shepherd
Who once worked for my dad
And every Christmas time
He wished us Fleece Navidad
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