My bell rings, are you listening,
On your face, your lips are glistening,
A beautiful sight,
I’ll be happy tonight,
Rummaging
in your winter underwear
My bell rings, are you listening,
On your face, your lips are glistening,
A beautiful sight,
I’ll be happy tonight,
Rummaging
in your winter underwear
Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
I’ll spend Christmas time with Molly
Fa la la la
la, la la la la.
It should be the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
But I’ve just realized my folly
Fa-la-la,
la-la-la, la-la-la.
Stab me in
the heart with holly
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Dad has run away with Molly
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Stuff the turkey’s arse with holly
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
There’s no reason to be jolly,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
You can now buy a UKIP
Advent
calendar
I’ve never
seen one before
There are
no Christmas messages
It just says
Fuck off
Behind every
door
Keep Christmas well
Embrace its
spirit
Feel its
warmth and joy
Hold it in
your heart
And keep
its embers alight
Carry it
with you
From one
year to the next
So, it will
never end
It was in the belfry
On Christmas
Eve
High in the
tower
I tried to
retrieve
A poor
little kitten
Who was
stuck
When suddenly
The bell
was struck
I lost my
footing
And began
to fall
I thought
this is
The end of
it all
So, I had
onto grab
Or surely
die
My Ding
dong
Bunting and frolic
Candles and
smells
Garlands
and gaiety
Baubles and
bells
The holly
and the ivy
Sprigs of
mistletoe
Cookies and
eggnog
Have a
happy Crimbo
With expectant faces full of smiles
The children
sit around the tree
Waiting to
get amongst the gifts
And
wondering “What’s Santa got for me”
Eagerly the
children sit by the tree
Their expectant
smiling faces all aglow
Waiting to
get amongst the gifts
On the
moment when Nan says “go”